Valentine’s Day can carry with it a lot of stress, some feel it is one day out of the year where we get to gauge our self-worth based on how others respond to us. From the grade-school drama of receiving -- or not receiving -- a valentine from the popular kid, to adulthood where we eagerly await flowers from that special someone. While Valentine’s Day can certainly be a lovely opportunity to show someone that you love and care about them. It can also feel as though we are allowing ourselves to seek validation and worth from external sources and people.
As a way to retain control of your self-worth on this upcoming holiday, consider taking yourself on a date. If this idea is new to you, use the steps below as a guide.
The first step in ensuring your happiness on this day is to consciously list out what you hope or expect from others. Now, you don’t need to have a significant other to do this part -- just think about what you’d find nice on this day if you did have someone to celebrate with. Some examples might include: receiving flowers, going out to a nice dinner, breakfast in bed, a candlelit bath, the chance to dress up, a nice, long hand-written letter of appreciation, etc.
Be sure to physically write your list so as to take it from your heart and bring it to reality. This is the first step in manifestation.
Depending on how creative and idealistic you were in step one, you may have ended up with a list of things like “spontaneous trip to a tropical island” or “wedding proposal in a helicopter while flying over the location of our first kiss.” Some of these items might not be doable based on finances, while others might require another person to be involved. Narrow your list to the items that feel truly realistic, keeping in mind that they may still seem uncomfortable to do by yourself. For example, getting dressed up for dinner alone is a terrifying idea to some folks. Still, it is doable, so keep it on the list.
Here’s the tipping point: you have to commit to fulfilling these tasks. Plan a nice breakfast that you can make in your PJ’s and bring back to bed; order flowers to be delivered to your home; make a dinner reservation for one; write yourself that love letter, all the while remaining authentic and kind throughout the process
You might be thinking to yourself, “Um.. yeah, I’m not going to do that.. That feels silly and weird.” But before you dismiss the idea, I’d ask you to consider: why? Why does it feel “weird” or “silly” to be kind to yourself? Why does it feel “normal” to spoil / be spoiled by others but not to spoil / be spoiled by yourself?
In his book Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, Parker Palmer states, “Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” In this way, self-care is the first step in caring for others as well as the world at large; when we show up for ourselves, we put ourselves in a position to better show up for others.
So indulge yourself knowing that it will only ripple out in positive ways. Take your happiness and sense of worth into your own hands this Valentine’s Day and take yourself on a date.
Brooke Davidson is a contributing author for Tada Rugs. Tada Rugs is a 5x7 yoga mat disguised as an artistic area rug that you never have to put away. Tada is short for tadasana, or mountain pose, and our own backyard in the San Juan Mountains of Durango, Colorado is where we find our inspiration. Check out our new designs, enter for a chance to win a new Tada Rug, and be sure to follow us for deals and insider specials! Like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, or contact us through our website! Tie a room together and bring your practice home.
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